Gofcumcin is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, strong owl.

Gofcumcin created a bottom quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gofcumcin, it will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gofcumcin, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gofcumcin's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Gofcumcin's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never hurt gulls.

5. Do not shave your arms.