Veenqueegsaf is a god.

She takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, emotional hamster.

Veenqueegsaf created humanity seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Veenqueegsaf, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Veenqueegsaf, she will turn you into a mouse.

Veenqueegsaf's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Veenqueegsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never write about galaxies.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Retreat if three swans approach from the north.

5. Hide if four shrews approach from the south.