Gargatpom is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, kind badger.

Gargatpom created the Sun five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gargatpom, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Gargatpom, he will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Gargatpom's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Gargatpom's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never skip in holy places.

3. Mice are not to be trusted.

4. Gargatpom loves turtles, so they must be respected.

5. Always help sick birds.