Bedhoggatfaslaparp is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, witless coyote.

Bedhoggatfaslaparp created water six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedhoggatfaslaparp, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Bedhoggatfaslaparp, it will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bedhoggatfaslaparp's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Bedhoggatfaslaparp's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Feed all hungry whales.

5. Never talk about amino acids.