Hogwigbot Tanbestlatsaftetti is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, conceited finch.

Hogwigbot Tanbestlatsaftetti created the planet Earth two years ago.

If you believe in Hogwigbot Tanbestlatsaftetti, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Hogwigbot Tanbestlatsaftetti, she will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hogwigbot Tanbestlatsaftetti's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Hogwigbot Tanbestlatsaftetti's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair turquoise.

2. Erect three silicon sculptures of Hogwigbot Tanbestlatsaftetti on top of important buildings.

3. Always help sick seals.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.