Bitvidcim is a god.

It takes the form of a very heavy, unthinking dog.

Bitvidcim created a top quark seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Bitvidcim, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bitvidcim, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bitvidcim's most sacred site is Amrit in Egypt.

Bitvidcim's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at galaxies.

2. Never think ill of sick sharks.

3. Never think about cell theory.

4. Put Bitvidcim first in all things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat figs.