Fetdumart is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, overgenerous faun.

Fetdumart created light three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fetdumart, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Fetdumart, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Fetdumart's most sacred site is Hondarribia in Spain.

Fetdumart's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

2. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never write about black holes.

4. Do not stand on grass.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.