Listvenbarn is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, narcissistic capybara.

Listvenbarn created the world three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Listvenbarn, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Listvenbarn, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Listvenbarn's most sacred site is Miiluranta in Finland.

Listvenbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near turtles.

2. Never look at asteroids.

3. Do not eat grapes.

4. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Pray towards the west.