Panlarnjat is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unthoughtful hippopotamus.

Panlarnjat created the universe four million years ago.

If you believe in Panlarnjat, it will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Panlarnjat, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Panlarnjat's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Panlarnjat's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about planets.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Erect nine tin sculptures of Panlarnjat on top of important buildings.