Betratgub is a god.

She takes the form of a corpulent, proud bat.

Betratgub created silver eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Betratgub, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Betratgub, she will make you grow a tail.

Betratgub's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Betratgub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat lentils.

2. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Always look after injured bats.

5. Always pray in complete darkness.