Bagpangcam is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, thoughtless wombat.

Bagpangcam created life five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bagpangcam, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Bagpangcam, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bagpangcam's most sacred site is Ylike in Finland.

Bagpangcam's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Never think ill of sick voles.

5. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.