Nurtgonflow is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, unthinking alligator.

Nurtgonflow created oxygen six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nurtgonflow, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurtgonflow, she will send minions to preach to you.

Nurtgonflow's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Nurtgonflow's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never skip near sheep.

3. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

4. Nurtgonflow loves sharks, so they must be respected.

5. Always stare at clouds.