Flapgomnill is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, charitable monkey.

Flapgomnill created the planet Jupiter six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flapgomnill, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Flapgomnill, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flapgomnill's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Flapgomnill's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit near foxes.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never mention pigs.

4. Do not sing in public.

5. Retreat if seven tapirs approach from the north.