Cubbonvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, calm ferret.

Cubbonvonk created parasitic wasps four billion years ago.

If you believe in Cubbonvonk, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Cubbonvonk, it will turn you into a rock.

Cubbonvonk's most sacred site is Neravy in India.

Cubbonvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

2. Put Cubbonvonk first in all things.

3. Turtles are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Cubbonvonk loves porpoises, so they must be respected.

5. Hide if eight grasshopers approach from the south.