Wontinbaf Yimnutfem is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, annoying spider.

Wontinbaf Yimnutfem created Mount Everest two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wontinbaf Yimnutfem, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wontinbaf Yimnutfem, it will turn you into a sparrow.

Wontinbaf Yimnutfem's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Wontinbaf Yimnutfem's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large copper sculpture of Wontinbaf Yimnutfem on top of all buildings.

2. Always pray immersed in water.

3. Never mention mites.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not stand on grass.