Larnhatlipkanlibsat is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, moody tapir.

Larnhatlipkanlibsat created a charm quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Larnhatlipkanlibsat, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Larnhatlipkanlibsat, she will try to impress you with rainbows.

Larnhatlipkanlibsat's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Larnhatlipkanlibsat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about asteroids.

2. Worship no other gods but Larnhatlipkanlibsat.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not trade with those who eat melons.

5. Never paint your face cyan.