Omtzaghig is a god.

He takes the form of a fat, able octopus.

Omtzaghig created snails seven million years ago.

If you believe in Omtzaghig, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Omtzaghig, he will send you a sign.

Omtzaghig's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Omtzaghig's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lentils to whales while wearing red corsets.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Omtzaghig must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Respect your elders.