Dibontflis is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, amazing salamander.

Dibontflis created energy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibontflis, she will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dibontflis, she will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Dibontflis' most sacred site is Snipp in Sweden.

Dibontflis' Holy Commandments

1. Dibontflis loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never go into red rooms.