Vonk is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, emotional penguin.

Vonk created parasitic wasps seven million years ago.

If you believe in Vonk, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Vonk, it will turn you into a sheep.

Vonk's most sacred site is Panormos in Greece.

Vonk's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never write about stars.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

4. Always make sure there are no sheep in a room before entering it.

5. Never wear orange trousers.