Titflybonk is a god.

It takes the form of an one thousand metre long, unselfish armadillo.

Titflybonk created a top quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Titflybonk, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Titflybonk, it will have a low opinion of you.

Titflybonk's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Titflybonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.