Cardaphap is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, emotional bee.

Cardaphap created dark energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cardaphap, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Cardaphap, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Cardaphap's most sacred site is Maijoma in Mexico.

Cardaphap's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about amino acids.

2. Always help foxes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Never go into yellow rooms.

5. Never talk about cell theory.