Nulcabkop Vonkcumbansog is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, ill-tempered coyote.

Nulcabkop Vonkcumbansog created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nulcabkop Vonkcumbansog, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Nulcabkop Vonkcumbansog, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nulcabkop Vonkcumbansog's most sacred site is Dzhanka in Bulgaria.

Nulcabkop Vonkcumbansog's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no birds in a building before entering it.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.