Habhonkim is a god.

He takes the form of a large, flying rhinoceros.

Habhonkim created a quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Habhonkim, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Habhonkim, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Habhonkim's most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Habhonkim's Holy Commandments

1. Habhonkim loves birds, so they must be honoured.

2. Erect seven iron sculptures of Habhonkim on top of important buildings.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Habhonkim.

4. Never look at asteroids.

5. Always help sheep.