Metflanfossnell is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, clever wren.

Metflanfossnell created everything that exists five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Metflanfossnell, it will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Metflanfossnell, it will ignore you and hope you go away.

Metflanfossnell's most sacred site is Camon in France.

Metflanfossnell's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Never write about planets.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Do not eat parsnips.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.