Quampitlarn is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, overgenerous bee.

Quampitlarn created the Whirlpool Galaxy four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Quampitlarn, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Quampitlarn, she will turn you into a sheep.

Quampitlarn's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Quampitlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Never skip near voles.

2. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

3. You must pray to Quampitlarn seven times a day.

4. Quampitlarn loves aardvarks, so they must be respected.

5. Never talk about doves.