Sigzim Bidflatcid Govquatpon is a god.

It takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, clever narwhal.

Sigzim Bidflatcid Govquatpon created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Sigzim Bidflatcid Govquatpon, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Sigzim Bidflatcid Govquatpon, it will attempt to scare you with floods.

Sigzim Bidflatcid Govquatpon's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Sigzim Bidflatcid Govquatpon's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never write about amino acids.

3. Fast once a month.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never eat tomatoes.