Lamcethabgesshatmin is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, pitiless wyrm.

Lamcethabgesshatmin created Europe six million years ago.

If you believe in Lamcethabgesshatmin, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Lamcethabgesshatmin, he will destroy your favourite galaxy.

Lamcethabgesshatmin's most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Lamcethabgesshatmin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt squirrels.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never eat spinach.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not wear lead on your body.