Xuctagfum is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, wise coyote.

Xuctagfum created the Tadpole Galaxy three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuctagfum, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Xuctagfum, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Xuctagfum's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Xuctagfum's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from orange whales for they are unholy.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always look after injured nematodes.

5. Do not commit murder.