Hapcumfossingrow is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy rhinoceros.

Hapcumfossingrow created humanity four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hapcumfossingrow, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Hapcumfossingrow, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Hapcumfossingrow's most sacred site is Xaaga in Mexico.

Hapcumfossingrow's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Never write about galaxies.

5. Do not hurt ducks.