Ortbudwot is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, amazing lobster.

Ortbudwot created a strange quark five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ortbudwot, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Ortbudwot, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Ortbudwot's most sacred site is Vinezac in France.

Ortbudwot's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat pineapples.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never think ill of sick manatees.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never feed rice to snakes while wearing indigo stockings.