Gomnul is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, ill-tempered monkey.

Gomnul created an up quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gomnul, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Gomnul, it will laugh at you.

Gomnul's most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Gomnul's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear silicon on your body.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Ants are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always wear black.