Nuttunfas is a god.

It takes the form of a slim, blissful alligator.

Nuttunfas created Asia nine million years ago.

If you believe in Nuttunfas, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Nuttunfas, it will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Nuttunfas' most sacred site is Katballe in Denmark.

Nuttunfas' Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Hide from cyan whales for they are unholy.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate pigs.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not stand on grass.