Zakwigcuss is a god.

It takes the form of a blubbery, self-confident crocodile.

Zakwigcuss created the Sol system three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zakwigcuss, it will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Zakwigcuss, it will say rude things about you at parties.

Zakwigcuss' most sacred site is Pisterzo in Italy.

Zakwigcuss' Holy Commandments

1. Do not chop down trees.

2. Never talk about amino acids.

3. Never laugh in the presence of horses.

4. Do not dye your hair fawn.

5. Never hurt whales.