Tabfenlit Veentifsid is a god.

She takes the form of a five hundred metre long, witless wolf.

Tabfenlit Veentifsid created Mount Everest six billion years ago.

If you believe in Tabfenlit Veentifsid, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Tabfenlit Veentifsid, she will ignore you.

Tabfenlit Veentifsid's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Tabfenlit Veentifsid's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tabfenlit Veentifsid.

2. Run away from purple porpoises, for they are unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Do not drink alcohol.