Citnulgat is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, merciful toad.

Citnulgat created life three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Citnulgat, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Citnulgat, he will turn you into a hamster.

Citnulgat's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Citnulgat's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least three thousand metres per day.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Citnulgat.

5. Respect your elders.