Flamtipbadlag is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, amazing zebra.

Flamtipbadlag created a down quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamtipbadlag, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Flamtipbadlag, he will think nothing of it.

Flamtipbadlag's most sacred site is Qangwa in Botswana.

Flamtipbadlag's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed spinach to dogs while wearing purple kilts.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never mention squirrels.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Flamtipbadlag.