Cumyokqueegmetlan is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, caring unicorn.

Cumyokqueegmetlan created the planet Jupiter eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cumyokqueegmetlan, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Cumyokqueegmetlan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Cumyokqueegmetlan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Cumyokqueegmetlan's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured foxes.

2. Run away from cyan snakes, for they are unholy.

3. Never paint your hands black.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not wear brown clothing.