Largmetmabfarn is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, fussy dove.

Largmetmabfarn created Africa seven million years ago.

If you believe in Largmetmabfarn, she will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Largmetmabfarn, she will have a low opinion of you.

Largmetmabfarn's most sacred site is Poloka in Botswana.

Largmetmabfarn's Holy Commandments

1. Do not make images of living things.

2. Never talk about evolution by means of natural selection.

3. Never feed wheat to porpoises while wearing orange shirts.

4. You must pray to Largmetmabfarn four times a day.

5. Never talk about fire.