Ratlarpwee is a god.

She takes the form of a large, emotional grasshopper.

Ratlarpwee created the Whirlpool Galaxy seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ratlarpwee, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ratlarpwee, she will not care.

Ratlarpwee's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Ratlarpwee's Holy Commandments

1. Ratlarpwee must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always help sick ducks.

3. Never think ill of sick rats.

4. Never talk about amino acids.

5. Do not drink water in white rooms.