Caphimdavnad is a god.

It takes the form of an enormous, prudent sheep.

Caphimdavnad created the planet Venus two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Caphimdavnad, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Caphimdavnad, it will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Caphimdavnad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Caphimdavnad's Holy Commandments

1. Put Caphimdavnad first in all things.

2. Worship no other gods but Caphimdavnad.

3. Do not drink water in yellow rooms.

4. Retreat if eight dolphins approach from the north.

5. Never wear dresses.