Latbutkip Ligsakwab is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, compassionate slug.

Latbutkip Ligsakwab created a top quark two million years ago.

If you believe in Latbutkip Ligsakwab, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Latbutkip Ligsakwab, he will say rude things about you at parties.

Latbutkip Ligsakwab's most sacred site is Katteri in India.

Latbutkip Ligsakwab's Holy Commandments

1. Put Latbutkip Ligsakwab first in all things.

2. Hide if three grasshopers approach from the south.

3. Erect a large lead sculpture of Latbutkip Ligsakwab on top of all buildings.

4. Do not covet oxen.

5. Never talk about badgers.