Japkenquatwikdub is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely large, sage swallow.

Japkenquatwikdub created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Japkenquatwikdub, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Japkenquatwikdub, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Japkenquatwikdub's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Japkenquatwikdub's Holy Commandments

1. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

2. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

3. Do not eat cherries.

4. Always take life seriously.

5. Never think about the strong nuclear force.