Hunratjan is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, caring cow.

Hunratjan created matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hunratjan, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Hunratjan, he will turn you into a snail.

Hunratjan's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Hunratjan's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

3. Never mention geese.

4. Do not speak about oranges.

5. Do not trade with those who eat cucumbers.