Gutjatgam Dobmincin is a god.

He takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, astonishing troll.

Gutjatgam Dobmincin created dark matter four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutjatgam Dobmincin, he will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Gutjatgam Dobmincin, he will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gutjatgam Dobmincin's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Gutjatgam Dobmincin's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least six thousand metres per day.

2. Always treat porpoises with great respect.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Never mention seals.