Larnbarnnil is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, self-assured coyote.

Larnbarnnil created a top quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Larnbarnnil, he will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Larnbarnnil, he will turn you into a mole.

Larnbarnnil's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Larnbarnnil's Holy Commandments

1. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Larnbarnnil on top of all buildings.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Larnbarnnil.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Larnbarnnil.

4. Never write about cell theory.

5. Do not stand on grass.