Xuchig is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely heavy, conceited human.

Xuchig created a top quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Xuchig, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Xuchig, she will denounce you as a heretic.

Xuchig's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Xuchig's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your chest magenta.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not eat bread.

4. Do not speak about peas.

5. Put Xuchig first in all things.