Rowlanquamfarngupgod is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, tiresome jackal.

Rowlanquamfarngupgod created matter six billion years ago.

If you believe in Rowlanquamfarngupgod, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Rowlanquamfarngupgod, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Rowlanquamfarngupgod's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Rowlanquamfarngupgod's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about amino acids.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not dye your hair blue.

4. Never talk about cell theory.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.