Bittettimetban is a god.

She takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest alligator.

Bittettimetban created carbon seven million years ago.

If you believe in Bittettimetban, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Bittettimetban, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Bittettimetban's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bittettimetban's Holy Commandments

1. Bittettimetban loves squirrels, so they must be respected.

2. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not take Bittettimetban's name in vain.

4. Never jump in the presence of doves.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.