Gomyamsand Captentof is a god.

It takes the form of a very thin, calm wren.

Gomyamsand Captentof created energy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gomyamsand Captentof, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Gomyamsand Captentof, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Gomyamsand Captentof's most sacred site is Khwee in Botswana.

Gomyamsand Captentof's Holy Commandments

1. Feed all hungry frogs.

2. Never talk about horizontal gene transfer.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Never wear boots.

5. Always look after injured manatees.