Flatartboss is a god.

It takes the form of a microscopic, fussy finch.

Flatartboss created life six million years ago.

If you believe in Flatartboss, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Flatartboss, it will turn you into a giant snail.

Flatartboss' most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.

Flatartboss' Holy Commandments

1. Never think about gravity.

2. Tortoises are not to be trusted.

3. Never hurt great tits.

4. Never think about stars.

5. Do not trade with those who eat peas.